Hotel Transylvania Bloopers
by Gotham317
Summary: In honor of the upcoming Hotel Transylvania 2, I created outtakes from the first movie.


**Hotel Transylvania Bloopers**

Outtake 1

Dracula is playing the ukulele for his little girl, Mavis, while singing to her.

"And if a human tries to harm you, I'll simply say…"

But he doesn't show his horrifying, red-eyed, growling face. Dracula yells this:

"YOU LEAVE MY BABY GIRL ALONE, OR SO HELP ME I WILL STRANGLE YOU, CUT OPEN YOUR HEAD AND PUT CANDY IN IT!"

"Uh, Drac, you were supposed to growl and make your eyes turn red," the director grunted, off-screen.

Dracula raised a confused eyebrow. "What? The last time I did that Mavis was scared out of her little mind. I thought it'd be best if I just said it and not show it."

"Yeah, well, you were supposed to show audiences your mood swings."

At this, Dracula got offended. "Mood Swings!?" His eyes turn laser red and he growls menacingly. "What do you mean mood swings!?"

"Never mind." The director replied meekly.

Outtake 2

The zombie bellhops were trying to assemble the body parts of Frankenstein in the right places, which is not going very well, until Dracula enters the scene.

"Augustus! Porridge-head! Come on! Does that look like Frankenstein's head?" Dracula shouted, not noticing his cape lifting upward on its own.

Wayne asked, "Hey Drac, buddy, what's going with your cape?"

"What do you mean…Aaaah!" He exclaimed, when his pants had been pulled down exposing his underpants, white with tiny black bats.

Wayne and Frank laughed as monsters around them joined in and pointed at the embarrassed count, who pulls up his pants.

"I see London, I France, I see Dracula's underpants!" Griffin, the Invisible Man, chuckled.

"Yes, yes. Very amusing, Invisible Man," Dracula sarcastically warned him, "you're going to pay for that."

Outtake 3

Frank's lower half carefully sneaked over to Murray who was talking to Dracula.

"Yeah, I took the Tigris through the Nile, and there was absolutely no traffic."

The lower half of Frank's body came up right behind Murray, and it suddenly broke wind, rather explosively. Green smoke covered the scene. Everybody coughing and gasping for air. Some of them fainted.

When the smoke cleared, Murray had a look mixed with confusion and surprise, while Dracula looked anything but amused by the outburst, with a clothespin on his nose.

"Drac, that wasn't me," Murray protested, "I-I didn't do that!"

Outtake 4

A slideshow of human photos is shown on a gray screen as Dracula announces, "…they are getting fatter so as to overpower us, and they are forcing Griffin to sit on the toilet and read the papers."

There is a slideshow photo of Griffin sitting on the toilet and reading the newspaper's headlines. Everybody burst out laughing, except for Griffin, who squealed in shock.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" His glasses can be seen bouncing frantically in front of the screen. "Nobody needs to see that!"

"I told you I'd get you back for pulling down my pants!" Dracula laughed hysterically, wiping a tear from his eye.

Outtake 5

A fake townsperson, one of the zombies in disguise, gets a pitchfork stabbed in his mask and he collapses. His burning torch accidently sets the entire group of phony townspeople on fire.

"Holy Rabies! You're on fire!" Mavis exclaimed. "Can I do anything? Can I help you?"

At that moment, the fire alarm is beeping loudly. The water sprinklers turn on and the flames are put it.

Mavis gets soaking wet in the process, but she doesn't mind. She looks relieved that the fire has been put out. "Oh, thank goodness. I thought everyone was going to burn themselves."

Outtake 6

A tiny glow in Johnny's pants caught Dracula's eye. He snatched it out and examined the device suspiciously.

"What is this!? A torture device? A secret mind-controller? You won't read my thoughts! I won't let you!"

"Actually, I just got a text message from my mom," Johnny replied. "Oh, look! She sent me one right now." He takes the I-Phone from Dracula and begins reading what the text message his mother had sent him. "Hi, Jonathan. I'm so proud of you for getting a part in the movie, Hotel Transylvania. The whole family will be coming to see it on premiere. Love, Mommy."

Dracula's expression changed to that of exasperation while face palming.

Outtake 7

A witch is busy sweeping the floor when Johnny crashed into her and grabbed her broom in the process. Dracula tried to catch him, but Johnny suddenly goes air borne, zipping left to right all over the place, and eventually breaks some of the equipment used on set. Several people or monsters duck down or jump out of the way as soon as Johnny comes flying past them at super speed. However, the flight comes to an end when Johnny's face strikes the camera, and the camera is knocked down to the floor.

Outtake 8

Dracula walks over to the balcony doors, they suddenly open, letting in the cool night air and moonlight, and he talks as if he is a dramatic sanctuary leader.

"It's a place I've built for all those monsters out there lurking in the shadows, hiding from the persecution of human-kind. A place for them and their families to come to and be themselves, a place void of torches, pitchforks, and angry mobs. A place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility."

But Johnny wasn't listening. He was busy listening to Ray Parker's Ghostbusters on his earphones.

"He's not even listening, is he?" Dracula asked flatly.

"No, he isn't," replied the director.

Outtake 9

"Listen to me," Dracula warned Johnny in a threatening tone, "you are never to return here, you are to stay away and never tell humans about this place, or I will track you down and suck every ounce of blood out of your body until you look like a deflated whoopee-cushion!"

Johnny suddenly burst out laughing. Dracula let out an annoyed sigh at Johnny's reaction.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Johnny gasped through his giggling, "He made me laugh. He said whoopee-cushion. Ha, ha. If he did suck out all the blood out of me, it would be like sucking out all the air from the whoopee-cushion, it would be like Frank passing gas behind Mummy Man again."

"Would you stop laughing and let me continue with my lines!?" Dracula asked in annoyance.

Outtake 10

"Can we try that kiss again?" Johnny asked, approaching Mavis.

Mavis giggled. "I think we can."

But as they lean forward, Dracula starts roaring and growling, until he starts coughing loudly. He put a hand to his throat.

"My throat is killing me with all the growling and angry face and stuff. Anyone got a glass of water?"

* * *

 ** _I hope these little outtakes will inspire other fans of Hotel Transylvania to write outtakes or bloopers from the movie. Hotel Transylvania 2 will be coming out next week. I do not own Hotel Transylvania or the sequel, but these jokes were something that came out of my brain._**


End file.
